It seems human nature to find fault with those particularly close to us, and to be easily annoyed with them. After all, living with someone allows us to see their “warts and all”, and it takes a lot of maturity to learn how to see ourselves in terms of the big picture of our personalities.
Next time we are feeling disappointed, frustrated or even very angry with our partner, it will help enormously if we could take a moment to remind ourselves of at least three things about him or her that we particularly value and appreciate. It helps balance out our thinking. It helps modulate our feelings. It helps remind us that he or she is human and that we are not with a perfect person. A good question to ask ourselves is “what would our life be like without this other person”?
Approaching each other with a more realistic perspective will feel more respectful and more well-rounded, and will go a long way towards a more satisfying relationship. And what goes around, comes around. When you are in a position of screwing up, your partner will be more inclined to adopt the same kind of compassionate thinking when it comes to weighing in on your own weaknesses and foibles. Just think of it as good karma!